A no good, horrible, very bad day

Well, kids - if you're keeping track at home we're now two for two on my husband getting laid off while I'm pregnant.   It's like some sort of sick cosmic joke.

I knew something was wrong when I got home and his car was in the driveway.   I got Lily in the door and asked, "Are you sick?" and when he said no, I knew.   All of the expected platitudes were offered: they're very sorry, they told him to apply for unemployment immediately, his supervisor is offering a great reference.   Still, there's a lot of sadness and anger over the loss of a job he liked and was good at, through no fault of his own, and while I'm almost halfway through a second pregnancy.  What was a very happy and exciting thing that we were looking forward to is now our biggest source of stress.  

Our first concern is health insurance.  Thankfully all of us are usually pretty healthy and if I wasn't pregnant we'd just switch to my employer's coverage, which costs more in premiums but is overall not a bad plan.  With the baby due in 5 months, though, we have significant upcoming medical expenses to worry about that we'd never have otherwise.   Mark's now former employer provided better coverage for half the premium cost and we were already well on our way to meeting the deductible thanks to some lab work I had last week.   My available coverage has an out of pocket max nearly two times higher and with higher copays.   We could COBRA through my pregnancy and the delivery, but it will likely cost a fortune to do so.  We'll get the numbers today to plug into an Excel spreadsheet but it's likely that we'll switch to my employer's coverage and accept that when the baby's born we'll need to get on a payment plan with the hospital.   Still, we will have insurance and my doctor and hospital are in-network with both insurers.  We may just be paying the hospital back for the birth until this kid is two (which we did with Lily and can do again).  

Then there's the issue of child care.  With just Lily to worry about we'd be fine indefinitely with my income and his unemployment covering all of our bills, and with relatively little change to our lifestyle.    But we're in the situation of needing two full time incomes to afford childcare, but not being able to afford to get by long-term on my income alone.  So come August or so if Mark doesn't have a comparable salary coming in, he'll have to stay home with the baby while looking for work.   We can't take Lily out of her daycare - she loves it and thrives there with her friends and caring teachers.   

Thankfully we don't need to buy much for the baby.  We were going to upgrade our infant car seat to the 30 pound model and get a stroller frame to use rather than the behemoth travel system stroller, but we don't need to do that.   We have a crib, bedding, swing, bouncer, toys, etc.   If it's a girl we'll be more than all set for clothes and if it's a boy, Once Upon A Child and hand-me-downs will keep him clothed enough.   Mark got frustrated with me and said we should still get what we think we need to get, but I'd rather save the money in case this is a prolonged state of unemployment.  

What has me most irrationally panicked now is the fear that my pregnancy and maternity leave will make me expendable to my employer.  I'm back in the position of being primary breadwinner at a time when there's threatened downsizing on the horizon and I know I'll be out of the office for at least 2 months this summer.  Emotionally I don't even know how to handle that fear so it's probably best to not let it enter my head right now.   I keep telling myself that even in an absolute worst case scenario we will not wind up hungry and on the streets because we have family who would take us in.  

If Mark's out of work much past April, it will mean we won't be able to save up so I can take unpaid leave when the baby comes.  We were counting on saving more money and getting a fairly large lump sum from his expected bonus in March, but now that won't be happening.  So I'll get my 6 weeks of disability and 2 weeks of dependent care days and maybe use a week of vacation and that will probably be it.   I was so looking forward to my 16 weeks this time but if it's not meant to be, I'll deal with it.   

Mark says that my only responsibilities right now are to go to work and kick ass, and take care of my health and the baby's.   It's on him to keep the house running and to handle a time-critical job hunt in this abysmal job market.  We have to try to keep things as normal and stress-free as possible for Lily's sake.  I'm so grateful for his strength and support in a situation which is so emotionally difficult, especially for him.   I pretty much lost it in a hormonal mess!

This sucks.  Right when we think we can relax a little, that life is finally going our way, we get kicked down again.