Does she really need a pink and purple toy doctor kit?

Or: Why we don't buy girly versions of non-gendered toys for our kid.

Lily has been reallyinto those toy medical kits since they had health & safety week at daycare a few weeks ago and they got to play with them.  She has a doctor dress-up outfit with a toy stethoscope that she uses to “check” Mommy and Daddy and Bella the dog, but it only has the stethoscope so we decided we should get the full-on toy medical kit.   You know - the one that Fisher Price had when we were little; with a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff, an otoscope, a reflex hammer, a bracelet that looks like a bandage, a fake syringe, and a little bag.  

Since I had to go to Trader Joe’s for bananas during my lunch break today, I stopped in at ToysRUs to see what they had to offer.   A surprisingly-helpful employee asked if he could help me find something and when I told him, he led me over to the preschool section and asked, “Do you want the boy version or the girl version?”   I said, “I want the gender neutral one.”  He chuckled and said that meant the so-called boy version.   He handed me the toy medical kit and said that they haveto ask almost all the time because now virtually all toys come in a standard/boy version and a girly version.     

This was what was on the shelf as the supposed "boy" version:

I don't find anything particularly boyish about this kit - it's just like the one I had 30 years ago when I was a kid.   Here's what the "girl" version looks like:

The parts are all the same, except the pink kit comes with a hard case (which according to online reviews doesn't hold all of the parts of the doctor kit anyways!).   And then there's the freaking pink everywhere for no good reason.  

If you doubt the pinkification of even simple and non-gendered toys, step into the toy and children’s products aisles at Target or BabiesRUs or ToysRUs.  Look at a bubble mower or a toy medical kit or even Duplo sets, and you’ll see that virtually every toy for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers comes in both the primary-colored version (apparently that’s the boy version) and a version in pink and/or purple hues (for the girls).   Leapfrog has all of their baby and toddler toys in a Scout version (green) and a Violet version (purple).  You’ll see a car seat or stroller which comes in a gender-neutral style and then a pink or purple style, often with flowers.  

Our infant car seat has a green cover because we didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl, and like everything we got before Lily’s birth it’s gender neutral.  Our swing, bouncer, and most of our newborn layette is gender neutral with lots of lambs, ducks, and froggies.   We got her Boulevards (convertible car seats) in neutral prints/patterns because our plan is to pass the seats down to our next child when the time comes and to buy high weight combination seats for Lily.   When it’s time for a combo seat, she can help pick the pattern because she’ll be in that seat for several years, but when she was too young to choose we went gender-neutral.  

I see it not infrequently where if a couple finds out they’re having a girl, their BRU registry is full of pink infant car seats and pink Pack & Plays and pink swings and pink clothes and pink EVERYTHING.   I’m not saying to not get a girly bedding set or some pink receiving blankets, because we even went to the extent of ordering a boyish crib bedding set and a girlish one and then returning the unused one to Pottery Barn Kids after Lily was born!   But still, I think it's a little shortsighted to make an entire registry girly. Especially for gear that may be reused for a future child, unless you’re positive that your childbearing plans are “one and done” it makes sense to go with more neutral choices or you’re likely to feel that you have to buy new stuff rather than putting a little boy in a pink princess SwaddleMe (note that said little boy is unlikely to notice or care if you do so).   

As part of my apparently-useless M.S. in management, I took a required marketing course and enjoyed it enough that I took a marketing elective as well.   My husband’s undergrad degree is in marketing.   I don’t fancy myself much of a marketing genius, but I do know this – the current trend in pink-ifying baby gear, toys, and kids’ clothes is pure marketing.  Think about it – if you have a girl first you’re likely to get all of the girly versions of toys, then if you have a boy you’ll be re-buying the normal versions because HEAVEN FORBID a little boy push around a pink bubble mower (note my sarcasm there).   If you have a boy first you’ll have all the normal versions but will be at least tempted to get the girly stuff for your little one.   Since most American families have more than one child and statistically speaking it's most common to have at least one of each gender, it’s not surprising that there are families out there who have a red bubble mower and a pink one, or a green Scout and a purple Violet, purchased for different children.   The supply chain for making injection-molded plastic toys is only marginally more complicated if you’re making a girly version and a standard one.   So there’s minimal added cost to have the second pink line, and the potential for greater sales for the toy manufacturers – a win-win for sure. 

So from the perspective of not getting sucked into the marketing vortex of buying new toys in a few years if we have a son, we buy the standard versions of toys and we chose all gender-neutral baby gear.   What I find fascinating is that a lot of toys and gear aren't necessarily in stereotypical "boy" and "girl" versions - there's a neutral/classic version and a girly version.   It's just that people see the pink one, clearly intended for girls, and it starts to seem like the neutral version must be for boys.  

Little girls and boys don’t know that they’re “supposed” to like pink princesses or blue race cars.  Societal influences and marketing push them towards those things.   Mark and I have consciously tried to raise Lily without media and marketing and us telling her that she has to do or like certain things because she’s a girl.   We don’t restrict her from playing with toys but until she was old enough to start having and expressing her own preferences we stayed strictly gender-neutral on toys, books, etc.  We’ve had some good-natured fun poked at us by relatives and friends because of this, but it’s important to us.   

Needless to say, I bought the standard version of the toy today and Lily is overjoyed with her "doctor kit".