I took another hiatus and shifted from one blog to another. Everyone is healthy and well - it's just that last fall and much of the winter was a really hard time for me, emotionally. I just couldn't put a smile on my face and post like things were OK when they were so very not.
Our finances got seriously effed up as a result of Mark losing his job, spending nearly half of the year unemployed, and then taking another job which ended up paying less than we expected. We did some dumb things with credit prior to his job loss, assuming we could always pay things off in a few months...and then it all spiraled out of control when our income was slashed and we had to change medical insurance in the middle of what ended up being a pretty damned expensive pregnancy. Our finances are up the proverbial creek so much that it will take us around 2-3 years to be debt free unless one or both of us finds a job earning more, and even then we're looking at a frugal lifestyle. While the budget is tight, at least we have one. It gives you a sense of peace to know that you have a little bit of money in savings and that you can actually pay all of your bills, especially when you've gone through an extended period where you had neither of those things.
I realize it sounds crazy to hear that a family with a six figure household income is struggling. Well, daycare's expensive. Mark's job is meh. The commute is much further than he was promised (he's driving over 50 miles each way four out of 5 days a week) and the pay is quite a bit less than he was promised. In a commission-only job, that really freaking matters. Plus, it's pretty much a career dead end; there's no opportunity for advancement or growth. It's a retail schedule with a lot of nights and every Saturday, which means we don't see enough of each other, he misses out on time with the kids, and it's hard on me to not get ANY time for myself. Financially, when you add up commuting and child care expenses, having Mark work right now is generally a break-even proposition and that sucks, but he wants to work and if he was a stay-at-home dad for a while we'd have to pull Lily out of preschool and no one wants that. So he's job hunting again and we're praying that a good opportunity works out at some point.
We had some very hard times in October and November, like "oh shit, we've nearly maxed out the credit card, the hospital bills are past due, and we have to drop $900 that we don't have in order to fill our heating oil tank to keep our kids warm" sort of hard times. It's extremely humbling to have to ask for help from one's parents, but we're grateful for their generosity and kindness at a very stressful time. Because of them we were able to give our girls a small Christmas this year. It was magical to experience Hannah's first Christmas and to see Lily actually understanding what was going on at the holidays!
We finally joined our new church in March - well, Mark, Lily, and I did since Hannah was technically a member before us when she was baptized in February. We've been going there since August and Lily is in Sunday School there, and we no longer really felt welcome at our previous congregation, so it was time to make the change official. We're so happy to be going there and feel like it's a much better fit for our little growing family.
Hannah and Lily are awesome, and they kept us going through the dark days of 6 months ago. Hannah was pretty much the only good thing about 2013 - and she is so very good. I can't believe my "sweet piggy" is nearly 10 months old. Lily is great as always and I can't believe she's approaching the end of her first year of preschool - which means we're less than 18 months away from kindergarten. I honestly think she'd be ready now; the child blows me away with her intelligence and maturity. We want a third child and feel like our family isn't complete yet, but there are a lot of factors at play - so we've decided to just enjoy life as the four of us for now.
More is coming. It's a new start, a new focus on what really matters to us. We finally feel good again.
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