We are weaned

I have a feeling even my friends who are/were nursing moms might find this a little weird, but I nursed my kid on her 2nd birthday!   It's just not something you talk about with other people, unless you're sure they're like-minded.   Of course Mark knew that we were still nursing, and my parents and brother were aware of it but I think my inlaws, coworkers, and most of our friends operated on the assumption that she weaned a while ago.  It's socially acceptable, even desirable, to nurse an infant - but nursing a toddler is a whole different ball of wax.  I have to admit that until I was the nursing mom of a toddler, I thought it was a little weird myself - but then as we were going through Lily's 2nd year it felt perfectly natural to continue.

After Lily's first birthday I had met my goal to nurse until at least 1 year old, and decided that anything after that would be up to her and I was willing to go until 18 months or so.   Most of my friends whose kids are the same age as Lily ended up with their toddlers weaning at right around a year, maybe going a month or two more but then showing no more interest.   As 18 months approached, I quietly decided that I'd be OK with continuing until the 2 year mark but was sure that she'd self-wean before then.   Yeah, right!    I never wanted weaning to be a traumatic or difficult thing for either of us, and I didn't mind continuing the once-a-day nursing routine since I still had milk, so I didn't push the issue.

In the weeks leading up to Lily's birthday she started skipping a night here and there, and shortened up the time she spent nursing.   I was totally cool with this until she skipped TWO nights.  I've been doing don't offer/don't refuse for ages now (basically since her first birthday) but it hit me like a ton of bricks that my baby was ready to be done with nursing.   Naturally as soon as I went downstairs and broke down crying, she started calling for me to nurse and I ran back up to oblige.  She went back to asking to nurse most nights for a few more weeks.  Still, I wasn't at all surprised when sometime last week she just stopped asking.  We read books and rock in the glider and then she gets into her bed.   No tears, no drama, just a little girl who decided that she doesn't need to nurse anymore - exactly what I wanted weaning to be for us.

It's a bittersweet feeling to know that our nursing relationship is over.   On one hand I'm really glad that my body will be 100% my own for at least a few months; between pregnancy and nursing it's been close to 3 years.   Her lip tie has also been causing issues in recent months to the point where if she was nursing more than once a day I would have probably developed abrasions and mastitis again.   On the other hand, nursing was something that was a constant part of our lives since she was less than an hour old.  It's something that I always treasured, not just as a way to nourish my baby but as an emotional bonding experience.   Nursing (and pumping) was the one thing that only I could do for her, even though I had to be at work, and that meant a lot to me.  

Every bit of the early struggle to breastfeed was more than worth it for the 24+ months of nursing that we shared, not to mention the wonderful friends who we've made thanks to the breastfeeding support group that I found when she was a week old.  God willing, there will be at least one more baby in the future and that baby and I will have a long and happy nursing relationship just like the one Lily and I shared.