So when are you going to have another?

Lily will be two on Sunday and it feels like I hear that question constantly.  You wouldn't believe the level of baby fever I often feel.   THREE of the moms in our little playgroup are expecting their second babies in December, the mom of one of Lily's friends at daycare is pregnant, everywhere I go I see pregnant ladies.

We decided pretty early on that we wanted to try to space our kids out, and we really have no choice in the matter due to finances.  With the cost of daycare not dropping until 3 it's primarily an issue of child care costs, but also to ensure that my FMLA and dependent care days would reset so that I can take as much time off of work as possible.    In Connecticut we get 16 weeks of FMLA in a 24 month period, so I wouldn't be able to take more than a 6 week maternity leave until mid-October 2012 (24 months after I went back to work).    So we've waited, and we feel like the wait is close to being over.  

I love being a mom.  Mark and I want so much to see Lily with a little brother or sister, to have another sweet newborn to get to know as a little person, to have our lives be forever changed by our child.  Lily loves babies and will be an amazing big sister.  We got lucky with Lily; we conceived the first time we tried and the pregnancy stuck.   I know so many women who didn't have the same good fortune and I'm very aware that just because it happened that way once doesn't mean it automatically will again.   I don't want to wait when it could take time.    We're not getting any younger (not that we're that old) and we kind of want the kids out of the house at some point before we retire, you know?  

At the same time I'm finally feeling back in the groove at work.  I feel ready to take on more projects, to take some training classes, that it's OK for me to spend 9+ hours at the office if I need to because Lily's having fun at daycare.   It's been around a year since I had to wake up overnight to tend to a fussy child (I know, we're lucky).   She eats the same food we do, using normal plates and utensils; there's no washing of bottles and pump parts and hasn't been for a while.   It's all pretty easy now, and a newborn would mean months or years of less sleep.   

We have a feeling we'll pull the goalie soon-ish and see what happens.   Still, I think we've thought about and analyzed the decision to try for a second baby way more than we analyzed the decision to try for our first baby.   Having your first creates a family, and having more babies changes it - it's not just us who will be affected by a future child, it's Lily too.