Because I think that's what will be needed in order to fully organize our two closets, our linen closet, and two dressers - not to mention the closet and dresser in the girls' room. At this rate, my children will be wearing shorts in November due to an inability to get anything sorted and properly packed away/brought out from storage.
Mark is wearing mostly dress slacks and shirt and tie to work, sometimes a suit. I have to admit that while I think he looks sharp in a nicely tailored outfit, this means that he has a surplus of casual khakis and golf shirts. I suspect that a large donation to Goodwill is in our future; I finally caved and decided that anything I haven't worn in the last 2 years is also going to Goodwill.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
I need a Sherpa
We have a lot of bags that need to leave the house with us every morning. If I'm doing daycare dropoff, I find myself going out to the car with the luggage and then coming back to retrieve the children and lock up - you'd better believe that an attached 2 car garage is on the "must have" list for our next house!
Me:
Hannah:
Me:
- Backpack - which itself contains my knitting bag and Kindle Fire
- Pump bag and cooler bag for milk (thanks, Medela, for making an "attractive" tote that all of my coworkers recognize as a pump bag nonetheless)
- Insulated lunch tote from Thirty One (love it!)
- Purse and keys
Hannah:
- Insulated tote for bottles (probably not necessary for the short trip, but we use it anyways)
- Large hanging wet/dry bag for cloth diapers
Lily:
- Backpack
- Insulated lunch box (trusty LL Bean)
Mark:
- Manly insulated lunch box of undetermined origin (he has the lightest load of any of us)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Homemade cleaning solutions
As part of our overall efforts to live a more green lifestyle, we've started using more and more reusable cleaning products and homemade solutions that are safe around our kids and are easy on the wallet. You too can do this! In order to accomplish 90% of household cleaning in a more green way, most families would only need to follow two steps.
First, clean with reusable cloths rather than using paper towels. This is how our grandmothers and great grandmothers cleaned house and it wasn't the end of our species! You can always cut up your husband's ratty old undershirts, but that makes for thin cloths that can't hold up to a lot of scrubbing. A more durable alternative would be that flannel shirt that's still hanging in the back of your closet after that 90s grunge phase - take some pinking shears to that bad boy and cut squares or rectangles in a size of your choosing.
Alternatively you can go fancy and choose microfiber cloths. Microfiber is great dry for dusting, and you can scrub with it if it's wet. I found microfiber cleaning cloths in the automotive aisle at BJ's for a very reasonable price and bought two 12-packs so that I can use them daily and only wash once a week, but Target, Walmart, and other retailers all carry microfiber cleaning cloths these days. You simply wash them according to manufacturer's instructions and they're ready to go again. We keep a stack of microfiber cloths in the closet with my cleaning products, and use a small wastebasket as a bin for the used cloths (we also use this bin for the IKEA baby washcloths that we use to clean Lily's hands and face after meals).
Second, replace your Windex or other all-purpose cleaner with a homemade solution. You'll find all sorts of recipes on the Internet, but my tried-and-true option is made up of vinegar, baking soda, and water. In the unlikely event that our 3 year old decides to drink it, she might have an unsettled tummy but there will be no need to call poison control! My recipe for all purpose cleaning solution consists of 1/4 cup vinegar + 2 tbsp baking soda + warm water to fill a 32 oz spray bottle.
+
= CLEAN!
First, clean with reusable cloths rather than using paper towels. This is how our grandmothers and great grandmothers cleaned house and it wasn't the end of our species! You can always cut up your husband's ratty old undershirts, but that makes for thin cloths that can't hold up to a lot of scrubbing. A more durable alternative would be that flannel shirt that's still hanging in the back of your closet after that 90s grunge phase - take some pinking shears to that bad boy and cut squares or rectangles in a size of your choosing.
Alternatively you can go fancy and choose microfiber cloths. Microfiber is great dry for dusting, and you can scrub with it if it's wet. I found microfiber cleaning cloths in the automotive aisle at BJ's for a very reasonable price and bought two 12-packs so that I can use them daily and only wash once a week, but Target, Walmart, and other retailers all carry microfiber cleaning cloths these days. You simply wash them according to manufacturer's instructions and they're ready to go again. We keep a stack of microfiber cloths in the closet with my cleaning products, and use a small wastebasket as a bin for the used cloths (we also use this bin for the IKEA baby washcloths that we use to clean Lily's hands and face after meals).
Second, replace your Windex or other all-purpose cleaner with a homemade solution. You'll find all sorts of recipes on the Internet, but my tried-and-true option is made up of vinegar, baking soda, and water. In the unlikely event that our 3 year old decides to drink it, she might have an unsettled tummy but there will be no need to call poison control! My recipe for all purpose cleaning solution consists of 1/4 cup vinegar + 2 tbsp baking soda + warm water to fill a 32 oz spray bottle.
+
= CLEAN!Now, this cleaner doesn't disinfect, but we only disinfect surfaces 1) when raw meat, poultry, or fish has been in contact with them, or 2) during the weekly deep cleaning of the bathrooms. For either of those situations we use a dilute bleach solution that we make up in a different spray bottle and keep on a high shef well away from the kids. We don't surround ourselves with antibacterial products and we and the children have not been struck by any heinous diseases or viruses as of yet. Plus, vinegar itself is a mild disinfectant.
I keep some of this vinegar solution in a repurposed Windex Touch Up container in the kitchen and in each bathroom (although I think a pump dispenser like this would work well too, and could be decoupaged or otherwise decorated to blend in with one's decor) and use it for everyday wipe downs of countertops and fixtures.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Soon to be rockin' it again
I go back to work one week from today. Yeah, I know it's not the 16 weeks I had hoped for, but 12 is better than the 10 that I had with Lily. Mark is doing OK at his new job but commissions take 2 months to fully pay out. Baby's daycare spot open + meager checking account balance + preschooler at daycare all day and mom getting a smidgen bored = time to head back to the office.
Since I'm hanging onto roughly 20 pounds of (insert expletive here) baby weight, I had to go buy new pants so that I have office-appropriate apparel. That was sort of a depressing shopping trip, but at least I won't look like a sausage stuffed into a casing by trying to fit into my non-fat pants. I think what upsets me more is the prospect of having to wear actual shoes closed at the toe and heel after not having worn such footwear since mid-June. I look forward to being able to donate my new fat pants to Goodwill in a few months.
I haven't checked my work email one single time this maternity leave and am proud of myself for holding firm. They have my phone numbers to contact me if all hell broke loose; since I haven't gotten any frantic voicemails, apparently it has not. Hannah and I stopped in the office last week to print out a pay stub (long story short, we can't pay the several thousand dollar hospital bill in full at this very minute and to give us more than a 12 month payment plan we have to apply for financial assistance, even though we will probably be denied). While my coworkers seemed pleased at the prospect of my return - probably so that they can all offload their chunks of my workload back onto me - the sentiment was that not much had changed in the 10 weeks that I had been absent at that point. A coworker's wife is due with their first baby like any second now and Hannah kept smiling and cooing right at him; it was like she was saying, "You're going to have one of ME soon, buddy!" (I'll point out that Hannah smiles and coos at anyone; today she did it to my 2003 Rentschler Field Inaugural Season cup on the coffee table.)
This ain't my first rodeo on going back to work after a maternity leave. With Lily, the mere thought of going back to work sent me into tears for a solid two weeks beforehand. Ironing little name tags into her rompers and onesies was Very Serious Business, as was fretting over my freezer stash of milk. I panicked about Leaving My Baby To Be Raised By Strangers In The Name Of Selfish Careerism And A Luxury Lifestyle (ha!). We brought her to daycare, Mark gently got me out the door, and I cried. I got to work and had to pump in a bathroom and cried some more - but I found that it was nice to be back in a lot of ways. I only cried that first day.
This time I'm so much more relaxed about it all, probably because I know it's not the end of the world. I did buy some bottles last week and finally got around to ordering a label set for Hannah's daycare gear (if it doesn't arrive this week, I'll jury rig temporary labels with electrical tape and a Sharpie). The same wonderful nursery caregivers who took care of her big sister will be taking care of Hannah. Daycare is on-board with using cloth diapers (yay!) so I got to order a small stash of BumGenius 4.0 one size pocket diapers and a large Imagine wet/dry bag. I have around 80 ounces of milk in the freezer (oversupply for the win) and should be good to go on pumping in comfortable surroundings thanks to our building's lactation room (est. 2011). I have plenty of knitting queued up for my pump breaks.
Don't get me wrong, I'll still cry next Tuesday morning when I bring Hannah to daycare and drive away towards the office. Then I'll get to work, chuck a K-cup in for my coffee fix, start reading through (and deleting) what I'm positive will be several thousand backlogged emails, maybe hit up a teleconference or two. Between a couple of pumping breaks and throwing myself back into my project headfirst, the day will fly by and I'll be able to pick up my smiley Hannah and my crazy Lily.
I know that even if we could afford it I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. I just wish that I could stay home with my baby for six months or a year rather than taking a leave that's measured in weeks. I'm one of the "lucky" ones, too - I had over half of my leave fully paid and I was able to afford to take 12 weeks off. So many moms in the US go back to work after 6 weeks or less and many women aren't FMLA-eligible or can't afford to take time off even if they are. This shit is inhumane; I don't know what the solution is, and doubt there will be change during my childbearing years. I just hope that change has come by the time our girls become mothers.
Since I'm hanging onto roughly 20 pounds of (insert expletive here) baby weight, I had to go buy new pants so that I have office-appropriate apparel. That was sort of a depressing shopping trip, but at least I won't look like a sausage stuffed into a casing by trying to fit into my non-fat pants. I think what upsets me more is the prospect of having to wear actual shoes closed at the toe and heel after not having worn such footwear since mid-June. I look forward to being able to donate my new fat pants to Goodwill in a few months.
I haven't checked my work email one single time this maternity leave and am proud of myself for holding firm. They have my phone numbers to contact me if all hell broke loose; since I haven't gotten any frantic voicemails, apparently it has not. Hannah and I stopped in the office last week to print out a pay stub (long story short, we can't pay the several thousand dollar hospital bill in full at this very minute and to give us more than a 12 month payment plan we have to apply for financial assistance, even though we will probably be denied). While my coworkers seemed pleased at the prospect of my return - probably so that they can all offload their chunks of my workload back onto me - the sentiment was that not much had changed in the 10 weeks that I had been absent at that point. A coworker's wife is due with their first baby like any second now and Hannah kept smiling and cooing right at him; it was like she was saying, "You're going to have one of ME soon, buddy!" (I'll point out that Hannah smiles and coos at anyone; today she did it to my 2003 Rentschler Field Inaugural Season cup on the coffee table.)
This ain't my first rodeo on going back to work after a maternity leave. With Lily, the mere thought of going back to work sent me into tears for a solid two weeks beforehand. Ironing little name tags into her rompers and onesies was Very Serious Business, as was fretting over my freezer stash of milk. I panicked about Leaving My Baby To Be Raised By Strangers In The Name Of Selfish Careerism And A Luxury Lifestyle (ha!). We brought her to daycare, Mark gently got me out the door, and I cried. I got to work and had to pump in a bathroom and cried some more - but I found that it was nice to be back in a lot of ways. I only cried that first day.
This time I'm so much more relaxed about it all, probably because I know it's not the end of the world. I did buy some bottles last week and finally got around to ordering a label set for Hannah's daycare gear (if it doesn't arrive this week, I'll jury rig temporary labels with electrical tape and a Sharpie). The same wonderful nursery caregivers who took care of her big sister will be taking care of Hannah. Daycare is on-board with using cloth diapers (yay!) so I got to order a small stash of BumGenius 4.0 one size pocket diapers and a large Imagine wet/dry bag. I have around 80 ounces of milk in the freezer (oversupply for the win) and should be good to go on pumping in comfortable surroundings thanks to our building's lactation room (est. 2011). I have plenty of knitting queued up for my pump breaks.
Don't get me wrong, I'll still cry next Tuesday morning when I bring Hannah to daycare and drive away towards the office. Then I'll get to work, chuck a K-cup in for my coffee fix, start reading through (and deleting) what I'm positive will be several thousand backlogged emails, maybe hit up a teleconference or two. Between a couple of pumping breaks and throwing myself back into my project headfirst, the day will fly by and I'll be able to pick up my smiley Hannah and my crazy Lily.
I know that even if we could afford it I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. I just wish that I could stay home with my baby for six months or a year rather than taking a leave that's measured in weeks. I'm one of the "lucky" ones, too - I had over half of my leave fully paid and I was able to afford to take 12 weeks off. So many moms in the US go back to work after 6 weeks or less and many women aren't FMLA-eligible or can't afford to take time off even if they are. This shit is inhumane; I don't know what the solution is, and doubt there will be change during my childbearing years. I just hope that change has come by the time our girls become mothers.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Tied up and twisted
We have had a blissful month since I posted last. Well, sort of. See, we learned a couple of weeks ago that not only does Hannah have an upper lip tie like her sister, but also a tongue tie.
While the early days breastfeeding Hannah has been easier than for Lily, it's a relative thing. I counted it as good that I only had abrasions on one side and I had them healed up within a week. My little porker at birth (>90th percentile in weight) had dropped down to around 58th percentile by her 1 month weight check. The pediatrician said not to freak out yet because the medical assistant at the 2 week weight check had messed up and weighed the baby while diapered, and if we assumed the diaper weighs a couple of ounces, Hannah would have been right at the bottom of normal weight gain for a breastfed baby. (Dude, I'm an engineer. I was sitting there not only mentally plotting her weight, but also figuring out what the rate of gain would look like - and it was trending down. Yes, I realize that I was basically differentiating my kid's growth curve. See kids, calculus really does have applications in daily life!)
So the ped said to just keep feeding on demand and maybe think about waking her up during her 5-6 hour overnight stretch, stuff like that. I went to a Milk Mates meeting a week later because I wanted to weigh her, and the IBCLC who runs the support group brings a scale. I was excited to see 8 oz in a week and was thinking that maybe we had turned a corner. After the meeting, the lactation consultant asked me how things were going. We were talking and I realized as I was telling her these things that the situation was really not optimal:
~ She was popping on and off the breast pretty much nonstop - All.Day.Long
~ She had started "clicking" (making a smacking sound) which actually means she was breaking the latch with every suck
~ Her rate of weight gain was consistently trending down, although thankfully still gaining
~ Nipple soreness and irritation not relieved by various creams intended for that purpose (not to mention the $30 Danish wool nursing pads)
~ The hallmark: flattened/creased "lipstick nipple", which I had the entire time Lily was nursing
Patrice heard this and put the pieces together, and asked if I wanted her to take a quick look at Hannah's mouth because a lip tie often means a tongue tie. She checked Hannah's mouth and bingo - tongue tie. She was leaving on vacation two days later but gave me names of some dentists who do laser revisions of these ties.
"Revision" is a nice euphemism for lasering or cutting the tissue away, usually with no local anesthesia in a baby this age. Part of me felt it was selfish to put Hannah through a painful procedure just for my benefit. After all, I nursed through nearly the same symptoms for TWO YEARS with Lily. But a few other lactation consultants who I'm acquainted with pointed out that for a lot of reasons it wasn't just for my benefit, it was in Hannah's best interests too.
I started making phone calls. Naturally none of the three recommended dentists in Connecticut were in-network for our dental insurance, and two of them wouldn't even submit the claim to our insurance for me. I'm not ashamed to say that money is a little tight right now and paying up-front for a procedure and maybe not getting much or anything in the way of reimbursement did not appeal. I called another recommended dentist in Albany, the guy who basically pioneered the use of lasers to treat tongue and upper lip ties in babies. He's been doing it for like 20 years now. I checked Cigna's website and magically, he's in-network. This prompted a call to his office, and it was confirmed that we would have a much lower out-of-pocket expense if we elected to have him do Hannah's revisions. So for the cost of a tank of gas we'd have less than 1/5th of the out of pocket cost and would be getting it done by the pioneer of this procedure? Sure, sign us up! The only kicker was that he was on vacation for a week, so we scheduled a visit for Monday the 5th.
Meanwhile we saw the nurse practitioner/IBCLC at the pediatrician's office, who has a reputation for being pretty conservative, and even she recommended a revision. She showed me that Hannah was basically gumming/chewing at the nipple rather than nursing correctly. It's likely that the only thing that kept the baby gaining was my strong milk supply and the fact that I was nursing on-demand, AND she was on the breast for most of my waking hours.
On August 5th, Hannah and I left bright and early to make the trip to Albany, which is around 2 hours. I learned the night before that Mark had been unable to get the day off to go with us, and I felt like it was too late to call my mother or any friends to come with me. I was so scared, and felt funny about being alone - there was no way I could have done this trip alone if she'd been my first baby. We had a pleasant and very scenic drive through the Berkshires and got to the dentist's office. He checked Hannah's mouth, said her ties were quite restrictive - especially the tongue - and he recommended revising both. I signed the consent forms and Hannah was whisked off for her date with the laser.
She was gone for less than 10 minutes, and I did cry. And I prayed that she would be OK and it wouldn't hurt her too much. Other families had arrived with babies for their revision appointments, and it appeared I was the only mom flying solo that day. The wait alone in the exam room sucked. I have no idea how parents of children with serious medical conditions do it - this was a simple procedure with absolutely no anesthesia and I was still a wreck. I was resolved not to be crying when she came back to me, though. THe dentist brought her back and had me nurse immediately. She was not crying when she came back to me, but it was obvious that she had been (whether from being swaddled or having fingers in her mouth or the pain of the procedure, I didn't want to know). He came back around 10 minutes later to show me how to do the post-surgery stretching exercises, and we were on our way.
We stopped for lunch and we got home around 3 hours after the procedure. At that point the natural numbing effect of the laser wore off and Happy Smiling Hannah turned into Insanely Screamy Hannah. I seriously started to wonder if the revision had been a good idea. I got her stripped down to a diaper for skin-to-skin and nursed her, which was the only thing that gave a temporary reprieve from screaming. I called the pediatrician to get the correct dosage of Tylenol and the nurse could barely hear me over the din. Mark got home and he went to get Lily from daycare and to pick up our CSA box, because Hannah and I couldn't leave the couch. Clearly, our plans to take Lily out to dinner for her birthday had to be changed.
Fortunately that afternoon and evening was the worst of it. I gave her a couple more doses of Tylenol in the days following and a week later, Hannah seems to be pretty much over it - except for when we do the stretching exercises. I'm worried that we may have a bit of reattachment of the tongue tie based on how it feels when I do the stretches/massage the surgical sites, but we'll see what happens as it continues to heal. She's already getting a deeper latch, is able to nurse for a full feeding without popping on and off constantly, and my soreness is diminishing. We've even had nursing sessions with no lipstick nipple! And having discrete nursing sessions versus being on and off the breast for a minute or two at a time is allowing me to actually get things done around the house.
While the early days breastfeeding Hannah has been easier than for Lily, it's a relative thing. I counted it as good that I only had abrasions on one side and I had them healed up within a week. My little porker at birth (>90th percentile in weight) had dropped down to around 58th percentile by her 1 month weight check. The pediatrician said not to freak out yet because the medical assistant at the 2 week weight check had messed up and weighed the baby while diapered, and if we assumed the diaper weighs a couple of ounces, Hannah would have been right at the bottom of normal weight gain for a breastfed baby. (Dude, I'm an engineer. I was sitting there not only mentally plotting her weight, but also figuring out what the rate of gain would look like - and it was trending down. Yes, I realize that I was basically differentiating my kid's growth curve. See kids, calculus really does have applications in daily life!)
So the ped said to just keep feeding on demand and maybe think about waking her up during her 5-6 hour overnight stretch, stuff like that. I went to a Milk Mates meeting a week later because I wanted to weigh her, and the IBCLC who runs the support group brings a scale. I was excited to see 8 oz in a week and was thinking that maybe we had turned a corner. After the meeting, the lactation consultant asked me how things were going. We were talking and I realized as I was telling her these things that the situation was really not optimal:
~ She was popping on and off the breast pretty much nonstop - All.Day.Long
~ She had started "clicking" (making a smacking sound) which actually means she was breaking the latch with every suck
~ Her rate of weight gain was consistently trending down, although thankfully still gaining
~ Nipple soreness and irritation not relieved by various creams intended for that purpose (not to mention the $30 Danish wool nursing pads)
~ The hallmark: flattened/creased "lipstick nipple", which I had the entire time Lily was nursing
Patrice heard this and put the pieces together, and asked if I wanted her to take a quick look at Hannah's mouth because a lip tie often means a tongue tie. She checked Hannah's mouth and bingo - tongue tie. She was leaving on vacation two days later but gave me names of some dentists who do laser revisions of these ties.
"Revision" is a nice euphemism for lasering or cutting the tissue away, usually with no local anesthesia in a baby this age. Part of me felt it was selfish to put Hannah through a painful procedure just for my benefit. After all, I nursed through nearly the same symptoms for TWO YEARS with Lily. But a few other lactation consultants who I'm acquainted with pointed out that for a lot of reasons it wasn't just for my benefit, it was in Hannah's best interests too.
I started making phone calls. Naturally none of the three recommended dentists in Connecticut were in-network for our dental insurance, and two of them wouldn't even submit the claim to our insurance for me. I'm not ashamed to say that money is a little tight right now and paying up-front for a procedure and maybe not getting much or anything in the way of reimbursement did not appeal. I called another recommended dentist in Albany, the guy who basically pioneered the use of lasers to treat tongue and upper lip ties in babies. He's been doing it for like 20 years now. I checked Cigna's website and magically, he's in-network. This prompted a call to his office, and it was confirmed that we would have a much lower out-of-pocket expense if we elected to have him do Hannah's revisions. So for the cost of a tank of gas we'd have less than 1/5th of the out of pocket cost and would be getting it done by the pioneer of this procedure? Sure, sign us up! The only kicker was that he was on vacation for a week, so we scheduled a visit for Monday the 5th.
Meanwhile we saw the nurse practitioner/IBCLC at the pediatrician's office, who has a reputation for being pretty conservative, and even she recommended a revision. She showed me that Hannah was basically gumming/chewing at the nipple rather than nursing correctly. It's likely that the only thing that kept the baby gaining was my strong milk supply and the fact that I was nursing on-demand, AND she was on the breast for most of my waking hours.
On August 5th, Hannah and I left bright and early to make the trip to Albany, which is around 2 hours. I learned the night before that Mark had been unable to get the day off to go with us, and I felt like it was too late to call my mother or any friends to come with me. I was so scared, and felt funny about being alone - there was no way I could have done this trip alone if she'd been my first baby. We had a pleasant and very scenic drive through the Berkshires and got to the dentist's office. He checked Hannah's mouth, said her ties were quite restrictive - especially the tongue - and he recommended revising both. I signed the consent forms and Hannah was whisked off for her date with the laser.
She was gone for less than 10 minutes, and I did cry. And I prayed that she would be OK and it wouldn't hurt her too much. Other families had arrived with babies for their revision appointments, and it appeared I was the only mom flying solo that day. The wait alone in the exam room sucked. I have no idea how parents of children with serious medical conditions do it - this was a simple procedure with absolutely no anesthesia and I was still a wreck. I was resolved not to be crying when she came back to me, though. THe dentist brought her back and had me nurse immediately. She was not crying when she came back to me, but it was obvious that she had been (whether from being swaddled or having fingers in her mouth or the pain of the procedure, I didn't want to know). He came back around 10 minutes later to show me how to do the post-surgery stretching exercises, and we were on our way.
We stopped for lunch and we got home around 3 hours after the procedure. At that point the natural numbing effect of the laser wore off and Happy Smiling Hannah turned into Insanely Screamy Hannah. I seriously started to wonder if the revision had been a good idea. I got her stripped down to a diaper for skin-to-skin and nursed her, which was the only thing that gave a temporary reprieve from screaming. I called the pediatrician to get the correct dosage of Tylenol and the nurse could barely hear me over the din. Mark got home and he went to get Lily from daycare and to pick up our CSA box, because Hannah and I couldn't leave the couch. Clearly, our plans to take Lily out to dinner for her birthday had to be changed.
Fortunately that afternoon and evening was the worst of it. I gave her a couple more doses of Tylenol in the days following and a week later, Hannah seems to be pretty much over it - except for when we do the stretching exercises. I'm worried that we may have a bit of reattachment of the tongue tie based on how it feels when I do the stretches/massage the surgical sites, but we'll see what happens as it continues to heal. She's already getting a deeper latch, is able to nurse for a full feeding without popping on and off constantly, and my soreness is diminishing. We've even had nursing sessions with no lipstick nipple! And having discrete nursing sessions versus being on and off the breast for a minute or two at a time is allowing me to actually get things done around the house.
Friday, July 12, 2013
I need a few more sets of hands
I thought I had this mom-of-two thing in the bag. I'm on maternity leave until September and we've made the financial sacrifice to keep Lily in daycare even during the unpaid portion of my leave, because she LOVES "school" and her friends and we don't want her routine being altered any more than it already is. I had visions of being able to take nice brisk walks with the baby every day (working off that baby weight), really doing some wonderful cooking, and pulling out my knitting and sewing and having a chance to catch up on TV viewing - albeit with a newborn who wants me to stop and nurse every few hours. And I have to admit, I really do have the time for some of that because Hannah is an easygoing baby much of the time and we're having almost none of the breastfeeding difficulties that I had with Lily.
Mark is working a lot of afternoon/evening shifts at his new job. This is good from the standpoint of income and is bad from the standpoint of me having to do the evening parenting solo with a 3 year old and a newborn. As you might recall, Mark worked noon-8:30 PM or 3-11:30 PM basically for the first 2.5 years of Lily's life, so you'd think I'd be all right handling the evening routine again. I was able to manage working full time PLUS 95% of the cooking and 5 nights a week of evening parenting, and that includes when I had severe nausea 24/7 in my first trimester. Unfortunately I neglected to take into account the oft-competing needs of my children.
I'm OK going and picking Lily up. Hannah stays in her infant carseat bucket and Lily is big enough to carry her own lunch box and backpack, and I've drilled her well on keeping a hand on me or the car for safety in a parking lot. The drive home is pleasant, with Lily telling Hannah and me all about her exciting day. Then we get home and all hell breaks loose:
1) Lily wants to watch TV. Fine, we let her watch one TV show per day (either Signing Time on DVD or Sesame Street or Thomas the Tank Engine via streaming Netflix). The problems arise if we reach the end of said program and I don't have dinner on the table yet. And I often don't, because:
2) Hannah starts cluster feeding for the evening at 5:30 or 6 PM. She usually doesn't want to stop until around 8:30 or 9 PM. Awesome. I can set her down for maybe a few minutes at a time which is not at all conducive to food preparation and cooking.
So Lily wants to watch another show, but because we limit TV I tell her no. Weeping and whining ensue (the Threes have started slightly early with this one). Then I manage to get dinner on the table for Lily if not both of us, we eat, and it's time for the tub. Lily needs a bath every evening because she gets sweaty and dirty on the playground at daycare. It means she's having fun and getting exercise, but at the same time it means we can't really skip a bath if we're running late.
If Hannah will let me, I swaddle her in a muslin blanket and pop her into the bouncer so that I can give Lily her tub. Lily is used to being able to spend 15-20 minutes playing with toys before I wash her, and now much to her dismay she's getting hosed down in record time like the prison inmates at the start of The Shawshank Redemption. Then once my older child is reasonably clean all three of us head upstairs. On a good night I can tuck Hannah into her bassinet in our room while I race through getting Lily in pajamas, teeth brushed, books read, and tucked in. On a bad night I get to do all of that one-handed while holding Hannah as she nurses. I'll let Hannah make a little bit of noise but if she loses it, I can't leave her alone to scream.
Some nights, all of this goes smoothly - others, all three of us end up in tears. I can hear the voices now: "Just wear the baby!", you say. Of course I've tried that, but when Hannah wants to nurse, screaming ensues if she's essentially on my chest but not latched on - I'm basically taunting her with the proximity of the fount of all that is good in her life. It's so close, but yet so far. She is not yet big enough or strong enough to get latched or stay latched herself if I try to nurse her in the sling or carrier. Added degree of difficulty: she won't take a pacifier consistently!
I've decided I need a few extra sets of hands and arms or a private chef and a nanny between the hours of 5 and 8 PM every night. Barring either of those outcomes, I'm going to have to find a way to get the baby to nurse properly while being worn.
Mark is working a lot of afternoon/evening shifts at his new job. This is good from the standpoint of income and is bad from the standpoint of me having to do the evening parenting solo with a 3 year old and a newborn. As you might recall, Mark worked noon-8:30 PM or 3-11:30 PM basically for the first 2.5 years of Lily's life, so you'd think I'd be all right handling the evening routine again. I was able to manage working full time PLUS 95% of the cooking and 5 nights a week of evening parenting, and that includes when I had severe nausea 24/7 in my first trimester. Unfortunately I neglected to take into account the oft-competing needs of my children.
I'm OK going and picking Lily up. Hannah stays in her infant carseat bucket and Lily is big enough to carry her own lunch box and backpack, and I've drilled her well on keeping a hand on me or the car for safety in a parking lot. The drive home is pleasant, with Lily telling Hannah and me all about her exciting day. Then we get home and all hell breaks loose:
1) Lily wants to watch TV. Fine, we let her watch one TV show per day (either Signing Time on DVD or Sesame Street or Thomas the Tank Engine via streaming Netflix). The problems arise if we reach the end of said program and I don't have dinner on the table yet. And I often don't, because:
2) Hannah starts cluster feeding for the evening at 5:30 or 6 PM. She usually doesn't want to stop until around 8:30 or 9 PM. Awesome. I can set her down for maybe a few minutes at a time which is not at all conducive to food preparation and cooking.
So Lily wants to watch another show, but because we limit TV I tell her no. Weeping and whining ensue (the Threes have started slightly early with this one). Then I manage to get dinner on the table for Lily if not both of us, we eat, and it's time for the tub. Lily needs a bath every evening because she gets sweaty and dirty on the playground at daycare. It means she's having fun and getting exercise, but at the same time it means we can't really skip a bath if we're running late.
If Hannah will let me, I swaddle her in a muslin blanket and pop her into the bouncer so that I can give Lily her tub. Lily is used to being able to spend 15-20 minutes playing with toys before I wash her, and now much to her dismay she's getting hosed down in record time like the prison inmates at the start of The Shawshank Redemption. Then once my older child is reasonably clean all three of us head upstairs. On a good night I can tuck Hannah into her bassinet in our room while I race through getting Lily in pajamas, teeth brushed, books read, and tucked in. On a bad night I get to do all of that one-handed while holding Hannah as she nurses. I'll let Hannah make a little bit of noise but if she loses it, I can't leave her alone to scream.
Some nights, all of this goes smoothly - others, all three of us end up in tears. I can hear the voices now: "Just wear the baby!", you say. Of course I've tried that, but when Hannah wants to nurse, screaming ensues if she's essentially on my chest but not latched on - I'm basically taunting her with the proximity of the fount of all that is good in her life. It's so close, but yet so far. She is not yet big enough or strong enough to get latched or stay latched herself if I try to nurse her in the sling or carrier. Added degree of difficulty: she won't take a pacifier consistently!
I've decided I need a few extra sets of hands and arms or a private chef and a nanny between the hours of 5 and 8 PM every night. Barring either of those outcomes, I'm going to have to find a way to get the baby to nurse properly while being worn.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Newborn cloth diapering
Mark and I decided around mid-pregnancy that we were going to use cloth diapers full time during my maternity leave. We started using cloth at home (disposables at daycare) when Lily was 4.5 months old so virtually all of our diapers are of the one size variety. Most one size diapers say that they fit from around 8 pounds and up but 10+ pounds is more realistic and even then they can be very bulky on a newborn, so we needed to get cloth diapers to fit a newborn.
We purchased this newborn diaper package from Nicki's Diapers for $141.97 including free shipping. This package includes 2 dozen prefolds in 2 sizes, four diaper covers, one each of a newborn bamboo fitted and a newborn All-In-One (AIO), and two one-size diapers for when the baby gets a little bigger. I also purchased a 3-pack of Snappi diaper fasteners and we already had a pail liner and wet bags from when we cloth diapered Lily. We already had three Thirsties Duo pocket diapers in size 1 that we'd used on Lily, and those will fit a newborn well. We started using the diapers the day after we got home from the hospital. Before her umbilical cord stump fell off, we just had to fold down the covers a bit to avoid getting the stump wet.
I do a load of diaper laundry every day because Hannah's wearing mostly the XS prefolds (the Smalls are a bit too bulky still). It's not difficult at all - a prewash with no detergent, a hot water wash with Rockin' Green Hard Rock, and a 2nd rinse. Then everything goes in the dryer on high. The bamboo prefold and the hemp halves of the Thirsties Duo inserts typically come out a bit damp but dry fully after a few hours of hanging on a rack or outside on the clothesline. It takes around 2 hours total, with maybe 2-3 minutes of hands-on time on my part.
We could have gone for a less-expensive "private label" Imagine newborn package at $88.16 which in retrospect would have been a perfectly-suitable choice. The two packages have the same prefolds and bamboo fitted, but the cheaper package uses all Imagine brand for covers, AIO, etc. We have been very pleased with the quality of Imagine diapers, so much so that I am now an Imagine Advocate.
So how do they stack up on cost? We have a BJ's membership and a 210-count box of size 1 Pampers Swaddlers is $41.99 at BJ's. That works out to 20 cents per diaper without coupons. Assuming the baby stays in size 1 for the first three months, and is changed on average 8 times a day, that works out to $144 in diapers for the first 90 days. However since we'd need to round up to 4 boxes of diapers to get the 20 cents/diaper price, we'd be looking at $168. The newborn cloth diaper package that we bought is $142, while the less-expensive Imagine package is $88. For the full newborn package, the cost is reasonably close to disposables (especially if you add in a bag of the Rockin' Green detergent that we use) but the Imagine newborn package is roughly half the cost to diaper a baby. There is some residual value in the cloth diapers (reselling the package or using the prefolds as inserts in one size pocket diapers), while disposables are literally throwing money away.
I don't want to make it sound rosy and perfect - there are very valid reasons for families to choose to use disposable diapers. Heck, we still use disposable diapers and once Hannah is in daycare in a few months she will be in disposables there! But with cloth, we love the convenience of never running out of diapers and that we're filling the landfill a little less than we would with 100% disposable use.
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